Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

To mark the launch of WFB8, a few of us are starting new armies, starting at 750 points and then growing in 250 point blocks.
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phil
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Re: Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Post by phil » Tue Aug 10, 2010 9:49 am

Well, looking forward to seeing them either way :)
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Re: Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Post by poi » Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:20 pm

Chapter 6, The Warriors from the North
The Warlord's forces arrayed themselves against the filthy manlings from the frozen wastes.
The two sides approached each other most warily, neither wanting to be the first to leap into the fray without appropriate forethought.
The enemy sorcerer, unable to control the Winds of Magic, blew him/herself (Who can tell with those sex-obsessed deviants) back to the Realms of Chaos, taking compatriots with her.
At this sign of favour from the Verminlord, the heroic Warlord whipped his forces forward into battle, his superiority in numbers soon beginning to tell as the few fell before the many.
The battle was soon over, with only the skaven remaining upon the field of glory, the Slaanesh worshipping tin-men melting away like the snows of their homeland.

Chapter 7, Returning the dead to their graves
Holding the field, but unable to place any forces in a border watchtower controlling it, Warlord Poi prepared to face yet another feebly arrayed scouting force. With weight of numbers heavily in their favour, the Plague Monks advanced on the watchtower, quickly securing it for the Council of Thirteen. Seeing it strongly supported on both flanks, the dry bones didn't dare assault the donjon. Try as they might, the Vampire Countess's forces could not challenge skaven supremacy.
Joining his troops at the peak of the tower, Warlord Poi revelled in his triumph, sucking marrow from the leg bones of those few skeletons still moist enough to savour.

Now 4 victories from 7 skirmishes, Warlord Poi is seeking reinforcements from the Council. Who knows what they may send him to reward his victories?
Poi

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poi
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Re: Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Post by poi » Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:30 pm

I seem to have missed out one of my battle reports, so here goes.

Chapter 5, Best forgotten
When Warlord Poi awoke after the dreadful happenings, it was only to recall fleeing the field, squirting the musk of fear.

Yes folks, I 've forgotten who I lost to last week. Oh well, there are so many losses, one more won't hurt, much.
Poi

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Re: Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Post by Chilledenuff » Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:31 pm

that would be my goblin's poi, i rolled down your flank
Smile! It's not that bad!
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poi
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Re: Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Post by poi » Wed Aug 11, 2010 1:44 pm

Cheers for ther reminder.

I've added all my batreps, such as they are, to my first post in the thread, so you can see them all together.
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Chapter 8, Dust to dust

Post by poi » Wed Aug 18, 2010 11:50 am

Chapter 8, Dust to dust
Hemmed in by the canyon walls. Warlord Poi struggled to deploy his forces without blocking his own line of advance.

As the Bronze Host rose from the dust of the valley floor, he almost gagged from the musk of fear his battle line squirted. Undead!

Whipping them forwards, the battalion advanced, more fearful of Poi than the undead horde.

On the right, chariots charged into the clanrats to little effect. On the left, rat ogres assailed a building filled to the brim with skeleton archers, pounding the defenders into the dust from whence they came.

The ratling gun opened up on cavalry already weakened by the Warlock's Crack Call. As the daisy cutter whirred, their bones shattered.

Giant rats and plague monks advanced on the enemy remnant. Like ice, they melted before them.

Truly, the Horned Rat was with Clan Poi.
Poi

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poi
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Re: Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Post by poi » Wed Sep 01, 2010 10:20 am

Chapters 9 and 10. The Dark Elves cometh, the Dark Elves goeth

Warlord Poi wasn't expecting such a tiny Dark Elf force to dare challenge him. Khaine himself sided with the skaven, forcing the dark elves to charge across the field onto the ratmen's waiting blades in their first encounter.

Gathering their forces, the two armies soon found each other once more across the crowded landscape. Unable to withstand the horde, the Dark Elves managed to take a few more ratmen to Morr at their second meeting.
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Re: Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Post by porrter » Wed Sep 01, 2010 1:21 pm

I feel the dark elves hearts wernt in the fight
P.S dont eat the yellow snow

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Re: Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Post by poi » Wed Sep 01, 2010 1:25 pm

It felt that way from where I was standing too.
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Re: Squeek - A Cheesy Muppet's Tale

Post by poi » Wed Sep 08, 2010 12:17 pm

Chapter 11. Who's that gut lord marching?

Unable to reach the tower before the ogres arrived on the field, Warlord Poi still managed to gain it before the wannabe bullies.

The ogres cameth, the ogres departeth, on the end of skaven swords!

Too terrified to even attempt an assault on the tower, they cowered before us, fleeing as soon as we so much as shouted BOO! at them.

This is scary folks. I'm now 8 wins from 11.
Poi

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